— by MARIUSZ ZUBROWSKI —
“Transformers 3” has been announced and everyone is giddy with excitement.
Well … not me. Let me provide a quick review on “Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen”: Lackluster action scenes, characters as plastic as the Hasbro toys themselves, uninspired plot and two annoyingly pseudo-ghetto robots.
In other words, I hated it and to mark the joyous occasion of the announcement of what looms as an even worse sequel, I’ll try to stay positive by giving you five things even worse than “Transformers 3.”
#5: The SAW series — Nothing is more fun then watching gruesome acts of terror unfold on the big-screen. Complex traps, lots of gore, and a puppet rightly named “Jigsaw” — that is what the SAW series is all about. The thing is, when you do the same thing for six installments, it gets old. Now that the traps aren’t interesting, you look at the other features in the film. Hey, this movie has actors! You know the ones that are always killed. Well, the acting is downright terrible, and the plot is even worse. I’m still surprised that these movies actually had a plot at all.
#4: Tyler Perry — An imagination is something that Tyler Perry sadly lacks. All of his movies are one and the same, guy gets married and hilarity ensues (I use the term loosely) when Madea (why must he include Madea in all of his movies?) comes to lay down the law.
#3: Recent Spoof-movies — I am just going to list the films (if I am missed one or two, please tell me), since listing their faults will take me all night: “Meet The Spartans, “”Disaster Movie,” “Dance Flick, the “Scary Movie” series, “Superhero Movie,” “Epic Movie” and the upcoming “Stan Helsing.”
#2: The movie “All About Steve” and Larry The Cable Guy’s acting — You can’t do well either way.
#1: The realization that “Transformers 4” is a possibility — … *shiver*
Agree? Disagree? Let us know in the comments section.
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