At this point in the game, anyone looking for success in the DTV killer shark genre needs a great gimmick to stay afloat entertainment-wise. After the escalating lunacy of the “Shark Attack” trilogy, it’s not enough to simply rip off “Jaws” and “Deep Blue Sea” and toss in a few clunky CG fatalities (I’m lookin’ at you “Spring Break Shark Attack!”). There needs to be a spark of the bizarre or absurd at play. “Shark Attack 3: Megalodon” – arguably the greatest bad shark movie ever — understood this implicitly, as did “Raging Sharks,” which bafflingly managed to steal from not only the aforementioned Spielberg and Harlin finned fiend flicks, but also “Star Wars: A New Hope.”
Perhaps in a bid to steal some thunder from Asylum’s “Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus,” legendary shlockmeister Roger Corman and the Syfy channel are teaming up to gift mankind with – *awed pause* – “Sharktopus,” a film that dares to answer the question floating through all 10-year-old boys’ heads: what would happen if a shark and an octopus were combined into one unstoppable force of aquatic destruction?
Judging from the trailer, which was originally posted up by the Hollywood Reporter, the results may just change the face of cinema as we know it. Don’t believe me? Click the link and prepare to have your hair blown back.
Apparently taking place in a world where the U.S. Navy has resorted to cross-breeding fish in order to stay ahead in the arms race, “Sharktopus” follows the gruesome exploits of the titular mutant menace, as it escapes the clutches of its creator Eric Roberts (Ouch.) and wreaks havoc upon a bevy of scantily clad beach bunnies and buff surfer dudes. However, no longer a slave to the confines of the ocean, the tentacled beastie is now free to pursue its aesthetically pleasing prey across beaches, lagoons, boat-tops and up what appears to be a river.
While this trailer is probably more or less a compilation of all the best parts of the flick (that bungee jump kill is incredible!), with the rest of movie’s 90-odd minutes given over to tedious conversations and exposition, I’m totally sold. Director Declan O’Brien, who previously helmed “Wrong Turn 3” and “Rock Monster,” obviously understands the appeal of big, dumb, goofy attack sequences, campy effects and T&A (an element which is inexplicably under-utilized in most silly aquatic monster efforts), and has done his darndest to churn out a potentially glorious tongue-in-cheek B-movie which doesn’t shy away from veering into the patently ridiculous in order to deliver cheap thrills. Obviously, it isn’t for everyone – or even the majority – but weirdos like me, who occasionally hunger for cinematic cheese of the strangest order, may just find their appetite temporarily satiated.
I say all hail “Sharktopus,” the latest, greatest wonder of the movie-world.
Now, turning it over to you guys in IJM-land, how do you feel about this trailer? Are you ready to join me in the “Sharktopus” parade? Paddle on over to our forums and let us know!
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Follow Cam Smith on Twitter at http://twitter.com/camspcepisodes.