It's Just Movies

— by CAM SMITH —

Effective movie teaser posters have a way of almost instantly branding their alluring images into your brain, drawing you in with a seductive promise of mystery, visual bedazzlement and an unforgettable entertainment experience. They establish the tone and feel of the film, as well as establish a rough idea of the overall concept, in a single enigmatic image — often accompanied by an equally vague tagline.

Now, with that in mind, do me a favor and take a second or two and stare closely at the hot-off-the-presses one-sheet for the new “horrific comedy” “V.A.m.L.” Really gaze at it, take in all the subtleties and examine the texture of the design.

Done? Okay, tell me: what does it communicate to you?

Personally, with its artfully out-of-focus barn door shot, stylish splotches of punctuation and almost indecipherable font (I didn’t actually notice the pair of axes until about my fourth close inspection), I would have sworn I was glancing at the cover of a freshly published poetry collection — perhaps penned by a sensitive celebrity like Jewel, Viggo Mortensen or Fiona Apple.

Well, I was dead, dead, dead wrong and I’m guessing you probably were also, as the film is, in truth — according to the helpful fellas at Films ‘N Movies — about two young women who must combat vampires, witches, demons and axe-murderers after being bit — not in the good way — during a one-night stand.

While the trailer sells “V.A.m.L.’s” overall premise a wee bit better, the clip also reveals that the flick looks like a student film-school project shot entirely in green-tinged night-vision.

Regardless, the movie, directed by Jill Poisson and starring Crystal Souza, Somaly Oum, Brian Lopes, Amy Webster Thompson and Najwa Rosdi, is supposedly aiming for a fall 2009 release.

Follow Cam Smith on Twitter at http://twitter.com/camspcepisodes.