And some folks think “Die Hard” is a Christmas movie! But let’s get serious.
The Christmas season is upon us and so are the Christmas-themed movies. One that has gotten a lot of buzz – thanks to Farmers Insurance if no one else – is “Red One.” This is apparently inspired by the American presidency and Air Force One presumably, and stars J.K. Simmons as the titular character.
Standing in for the head of the Secret Service is Callum Drift (Dwayne Johnson – “Black Adam”) ,who with his no nonsense delivery and bulging muscles is charged with protecting “The Big Guy” from all possible dangers. Johnson’s delivery sounds so much like Barack Obama that maybe he should have been the Big Guy.
Oh, also present, playing the damaged human with a heart of gold buried very very far down is Jack, played by Chris Evans.
It seems that the Christmas legend about good and bad kiddies actually stems from two sources: St Nicholas is for the all kids being good, but his “brother” Krampus (Kristofer Hivju) sees the rottenness beneath the big eyes and chubby cheeks and thus keeps a bad list. So far, it’s the mythical cannon. But the writers have seen fit to add a vengeful blond and blue eyed Christmas witch (is she “Wicked” in keeping with the mythical competition?) named Gryla (Kiernan Shipka – “Mad Men”). She’s here to give Krampus the edge in the battle of the lists. Now, Gryla is, in fact, an Icelandic mythical ogress who steals naughty children, so I guess there is some sense to the matchup. Her plan in this flick is to punish ALL the bad kids in one night and that requires the kidnapping of Nick. With that, this sleigh is off to the races.
There are some clever moments, and the CGI is good, but the mish-mash of magic, high tech equipment and the movie’s version of how government security entities function is a bit too much to take when we’re talking about a jolly old elf coming around to bring a little joy to children’s hearts.
The two bright spots in this non-participatory video game are Johnson and Hivju. Johnson is all “by the book,” even as he deals with the most outlandish things, and pulls off the jaded yet ultra-loyal civil servant perfectly. And Hivju brings a gusto to the dark character of Krampus that is a joy to behold – he’s a baudy warlord in his magical fiefdom. My only complaint is that his accent is alternately Russian and Scottish to my ear.
Note: Both J.K. Simmons and Kristofer Hivju appear as principals in advertising series. Simmons is the all-wise insurance leader in the Farmers Insurance ads, and Hivju is the aggressively Scottish character in the Scott’s Lawn Care commercials.
Runtime: Two hours, three minutes
Availablity: Still in theaters, streaming on Prime
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