Every time I watch “Burn Notice,” I wonder to myself, what would this look like when these guys are old, washed up and retired … voluntarily, that is. When I saw these clips from “Red,” I was forced to change the question. Now I wonder if the old, washed up and voluntarily retired “Burn Notice” would be as funny as “Red.” So without further ado, here are five clips from “Red” that should give you some lulz.
This is a tribute to the insanely-timed battle choreography of John Woo. Frank Moses (Bruce Willis) gets into a fender bender with baddie William Cooper (Karl Urban) and takes it about as kindly as he took John Travolta using his bathroom in ‘”Pulp Fiction.”
Ernest Borgnine, yes, that Ernest Borgnine, playing the records keeper Henry shows Cooper Moses’ file. There’s a reason why this movie is called “Red,” aside from the obvious. It’s because Bruce Willis is a bad mammajamma!
Frank introduces his girlfriend Sarah (Mary-Louise Parker) to Victoria (Helen Mirren) Let’s just say that Sarah will never have another introduction like this. After all, it’s not everyday she meets a true wetwork artist.
Over a session of stitches, Frank asks wetwork specialist Victoria (Helen Mirren) about the joys of retirement. I guess rule No. 1 is “Don’t stay retired.” Gotta love the touchy feely side of aging spies. Only after popping caps can they truly bond and reminisce.
Of all the clips, this is the one that sold it for me. Sure Bruce Willis perfectly times his exit from a car to start shooting at the bad guys, but Helen Mirren with an automatic weapon is just a delight. I mean really, who would have ever thought that Ms. Queen of Shakespearian England Tea and Crumpets herself would be doing anything with a lethal weapon. Flashing was one thing, splashing people around is a whole new ballpark, and I think I want to play in that league.
And here are 10 more clips from the movie, which arrives in theaters Oct. 15:
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