— by FRANK MORITZ —
Picture a sign sitting on a highway with “Help Us” written in red. Scary, huh? “The Crazies” looks to be another bad horror film from the looks of the poster. But hey, what do they always say? Never judge a book by its cover? Well, the same goes with a movie and its poster.
The film is about a small town in Iowa that is plagued by insanity and death after a mysterious toxin contaminates there water. Now this premise sounds very interesting to me personally, especially the insanity part instead of just death. But now questions come to my mind. Is there gonna be some completely absurd government side-plot, where they magically know what’s going on and want to contain it?
Apparently, this is a remake of a 1973 film of the same name. The original was directed by the master of zombies, George A. Romero, and it was his fourth film. But I despise remakes, so that automatically takes points away from me wanting to see it.
It was directed by Breck Eisner, whose only other movie was the poor 2005 movie “Sahara,” starring the worst of the worst, Matthew McConaughey. But after “Sahara,” will this movie be an improvement?
“The Crazies” was written by Scott Kosar & Ray Wright. Kosar wrote the 2003 remake of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” the fantastic 2004 movie “The Machinist” (starring Christian Bale, indie film), and he also wrote the 2005 remake of “The Amityville Horror.” So, he has two remakes on his résumé and this is just another addition. The only other movie Ray Wright wrote was 2006’s “Pulse,” which I never saw.
So they got less-than-stellar talent so far in this movie, could they make it up with the actors?
It stars Radha Mitchell (of “Surrogates,” “Finding Neverland” and “Phone Booth”), Danielle Panabaker (of the “Friday the 13th” remake, “Mr. Brooks” and “Sky High”), Timothy Olyphant (of “A Perfect Getaway,” “Live Free or Die Hard” and “Hitman”) and Joe Anderson (of “Love Happens,” “The Ruins” and “Across the Universe”). There are more actors and actresses listed, but I am pretty sure that those are the four main ones. None of those actors are all that talented; they have their moments, but nothing too great.
So am I excited to see this film? No. Are you? I’m not sure.
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