It's Just Movies

— by CAM SMITH —

Sweet slithering Sarlaac tentacles, just when you thought that those shaky new “Star Wars” movie rumors — dissected in my inaugural “About That” column. Shameless plug, ahoy! – had reached their final tongue-wagging, Jabba-esque death rattle, a new ridiculous tidbit of info hits the metaphorical fan and again sends fervent flocks of faithful fans rummaging through their closets for battery-operated light-sabers and Boba Fett helmets.

Did I mention that these dubious murmurings came from the one and only Thomas Dolby, mastermind behind the ’80s hit “She Blinded Me with Science,” as well as co-author of the theme song for Lucasfilm’s 1986 human/avian sci-fi love story epic “Howard the Duck”?

Some things you just can’t make up, folks, and this story is one of them.

As reported by Ain’t It Cool News, Dolby stated in his Dec. 5 blog entry that, while in the company of an employee of Lucasfilm, big, juicy beans were spilled implying that another chapter of George Lucas’ beloved space-opera series was looming in the not too far, far future.

Almost instantaneously, prognosticators began pontificating on the possibilities of whether James Cameron’s looming “Avatar” had affected this sudden development. Was feisty ‘ol Lucas feeling green-eyed and competitive? Would he too shoot in Real-D? Could this secret film actually be an ultra-ambitious launching pad for the planned live-action “Star Wars” TV series?

To answer all of those questions as simply and directly as possible: No.

In a new blog entry posted Dec. 10, Dolby apologized to keyed up fans for the misunderstanding, stating that his friend was “unaware of any movie plans” and “would never leak confidential plans.” He also pledged to be extra careful in the future in regards to choosing his “words more carefully given the ultra-sensitivity of [the] blogosphere!”

Whether this is actually the speedy result of a well-orchestrated company clean-up endeavor, or simply a silly slip-up, I leave for you, dear reader, to contemplate for yourselves.

In the meantime, to warrant your clicking on this article, check out this really nifty Q&A clip of David Lynch drolly discussing his post-“Elephant Man” meeting with Mr. Lucas, in which the prospect of the “Eraserhead” director taking the reins on “Return of the Jedi” was floated. Trust me when I say that the oddball auteur’s self-effacing explanation as to why he ran screaming in the opposite direction is definitely worth three minutes out of your busy schedule.

Follow Cam Smith on Twitter at http://twitter.com/camspcepisodes.