Just when you thought it was safe to …
…homeschool in Great Britain
…touch those bongos again
…exploit horses for money
…be a vampire
The above is a list of parodies and adaptations of one of the most famous, most pervasive catch phrases ever spawned by a movie. All of these alterations popped up on the first two pages of a Google search for “Just when you thought it was safe.” This versatile, pervasive little catchphrase has been customized so many times over the years, that it’s often repeated without knowledge of the source. Seriously, that same Google search even returned a page by the Federal Trade Commission dealing with consumer fraud.
The phrase comes, of course, from the 1978 horror film “Jaws 2” (some might suppose it comes from the original film, but that’s not the case). My point? Well, just when you thought it was safe to assume that a handful of classic films are sacred and thereby immune to Hollywood’s remake epidemic …
See where I’m going here?
Cinema Blend has reported on a rumor that Universal Studios may be considering a 3D remake of the original “Jaws.” I can’t say I’m terribly surprised by this possibility (sacred cows notwithstanding); in mainstream Hollywood, the only truly hallowed thing is money. And although a “Jaws” remake sounds uninspired, there’s no denying such a project — if competently done — could make piles of cash. No real surprise there. Artistic considerations aside, it’s difficult to completely denounce Universal Studios — or any business — for working its assets for all their worth.
There’s a twist though. At one point, Cinema Blend’s report goes on to reveal that Saturday Night Live alum (and current “30 Rock” star) Tracy Morgan was considered for the role previously played by Richard Dreyfuss in the original.
Tracy Morgan? Really? No disrespect to Morgan, but he’s not known for his dramatic roles and such a revelation calls into question the entire direction of said [hypothetical] project. We’re talking about a remake of the 1975 Steven Spielberg film “Jaws,” right? And this is indeed a remake — right? — not a satire or some big-screen expansion of an old SNL skit? “Jaws” — the horror film about the giant white fish with razory teeth and a taste for New England summer tourists?
Morgan is a great comedian. He was quite funny on SNL and is always good for a laugh everywhere I’ve seen him. But a “Jaws” remake? I’m no casting director, but putting him in a film like that strikes me as a miscast — unless this hypothetical remake is an entirely different breed of film compared to the original. Then again, maybe that’s why I’ll never be hired to cast a Hollywood production. I, for example, would have never cast Heath Ledger as The Joker.
And we all know how that turned out, don’t we?
. . .
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